Moment of Truth

Soon I will know what the outcome of all my efforts for this afterschool group will be. Today will either be the end of it all, or just the beginning. Or both. I don't know, but soon I will.

I'm anxious, even though I know there's nothing I can do about it anymore. Just wait and see where the day takes me. I have to be calm and not freak out if things don't go the way I planned. All I can do is hope.

There are moments like this in everyone's lives. Moments of truth. I'm about to run right into one. But this moment right now is like a moment of serenity. The calm before the storm. Hanging on to what I have the last second before it's gone. What will replace it is unsure. So I sit calmly with what I have until everything changes.

I'm prepared for this change as much as I can be. I can never be fully prepared. Because if we expect the unexpected, the expected becomes the unexpected. Even if we try and think of everything that could happen, there's always going to be one scenario we miss. And that's the scenario that's going to happen.

It's like being in a rainstorm. You think you're prepared because you have an umbrella. But then the umbrella breaks, and you get soaked. Sometimes though, getting soaked isn't a bad thing. Sometimes the rain refreshes you, gives you hope, makes you realize how lucky you are that you can be here and you can enjoy it and let it go and let yourself get wet.

I don't know how this is going to go, but soon I will. Will my umbrella protect me? And if it doesn't, will the rain depress me, or will it make my happy? I'm excited, I'm ready,  and I'm glad that today is finally here.