Fluctuation

fluc·tu·ate

v. fluc·tu·at·ed, fluc·tu·at·ing, fluc·tu·ates v.intr. 1. To vary irregularly. 2. To rise and fall in or as if in waves; undulate.

from The Free Dictionary


Fluctuate. That's a fun word, isn't it? Fluc rhymes with luck, tu means you is Spanish, and ate is the past tense of eat. You're lucky you ate!!!

I think that, because it's the beginning of the school year and that sort of thing, the groups of friends and people who hang out together are constantly fluctuating. And I don't mean their going on roller coasters, rising and falling.

I'm talking about definition number one.

The groups seem to change every other second. One day, a group will be perfectly intact, and everyone will be getting along wonderfully, and the next day that same group will be falling apart. One day someone will be siting at one table, the next day they'll be at a different table, and the next day they'll be at a third table!

Sometimes I just don't get it. Other than those rare groups of two that aways stick together, no groups seem to be really good friends with each other. They just kind of hang around together, always staying in big clusters, so if you look at a group of people from my grade, there's areas full of people, and big empty spaces, and the occasional floater, floating between groups.

Today I learned about electricity and how electrons move from atom to atom when there's an electrical charge. I guess the social system is kind of like a bunch of atoms. Each group is an atom, the people in the group are protons and neutrons, and the floaters are electrons. The electrons are far away from the protons and neutrons, separated from them. At the beginning of this year, I felt like one of the floating electrons, constantly moving. But then I started to settle on a group. Still though, I feel like an electron with no electrical charge that makes me move. Like I'm not really part of the group, still, just orbiting around it.

And if these groups were atoms, they would be the unstable kind. The kind that fluctuate constantly. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I haven't really become part of a group yet. I'm too afraid of the unexpected fluctuations. Or maybe I'm afraid if there not being those fluctuations, afraid that everything will be certain and boring and always stay the same. I'm not quite sure.